Everyday’s a second chance.

Had a dream that my mom hated me because I couldn’t find a job. She called me lazy, worthless etc. I went in my room and cried like a baby. Dreams are weird because is this what I’m thinking about during the day? Disappointing my mom? I suppose. That could be why I’m taking this long job search so hard. I’ve only ever wanted to please her and lately even though she’s given me no reason to think otherwise, I feel like a failure. I’m just gonna keep praying something happens for me soon. And then maybe I can rest my mind and my body for once in this long 4 month journey.

Anxiety attacks during sleep have to be worst then having one when I’m awake. Don’t wake me up all sweaty & freaking out about nothing. Absolutely rude. I was sleeping.