So, to start off its been awhile since I did this. I’ve honestly been meaning to do this for a long time, but I get lazy & don’t. But it hit me the other day, that I’m hold alot in. Venting is good. Sometimes you need to vent to yourself. And that’s what this blog is really going to consist of. Where do I even begin, we’ll start with the negatives. I am single, I’m very lonely to be honest. At times I tell myself there’s something seriously wrong with me, either I’m not “pretty” enough or guys just don’t like my personality, I must be annoying && I could go on forever. I blame myself for a lot of the things going on in my life. I definitely hide it with a smile but occasionally that doesnt work, and I break down and cry. That’s alright though, because I’m human…and whether we admitt it or not, we all cry at some point. I try being as happy as I can but on some days that doesnt always work.

Vegas. I know you’re probably expecting this long story about how much I miss Vegas and what not, but if you know me, you already know that story ;). Anyhow, I do miss Vegas alot. I miss the lights, the people, the enviornment, the dry heat, the thousand degree weather. I miss going to Target with hopes of seeing anyone from The Cab every time I went. Most of all I miss my best friends. I miss being able to see them everyday, get mad at each other, laugh, eat, and watch The Office. It was very simple things like going to 7-11, or Buffalo Wild Wings on Tuesday nights that made me happy and content. Knowing I can’t do those things anymore do make me sad. I always say all I want to see is Mandalay Bay. I’ve had so many great memories this summer at that place its hard to even begin discussing them. From the Jonas Brothers on August 1st to The Cab on August 9th. I’ll sum it up with a “I miss you Las Vegas.” This needs to be a blog all by itself (:

Friends. Wow. I don’t know where to start with this one either. I have very few “good” friends. I don’t need to mention names because those people know who they are. I’m always afraid I’ll lose them. And if I did, I’d probably be worse off than I already am. I have friends that are there for me through everything. Some that send me money when I go to shows when they know that I’m not able to get any, Some that simply just pick me up and drive me around aimlessly to get me out of the house, & some that I talk to on the phone all day about nothing. I also have some friends that use me when its convienient for them. Those friends I promised myself not to have much to do with anymore because its just not needed in my life and I can do better than that. I am better than that.

Stress. That has probably been the most frequently used word in my house for the past 2 months. After my dad lost his job, things haven’t been easy at all. This economy sucks. We’re all suffering in one way or another. But I’m glad that my mom raised me to accept what I do have, and make the best of it because you never know when its going to be taken away. We’re doing alright I must say, a few tears here and there but we’re a family & no ones gonna let anyone freak out too bad.

Work. Yes, I finally have a job. I had the most awesome experience on my first day last night. A little girl who was possibly 8 years old wanted to show her mom a shirt she found so not thinking or being aware of what she was doing, she took the shirt out of the store to go find her mom and show her. I’m assuming her mom told her “You can’t have that shirt out here!” & the little girl freaked out. She started telling her mom they’re gonna take me to jail and I’ll be so embarassed. Of course she was bawling her eyes out. But I heard her mom come into the store and point to her little girl and ask me “Can she talk to you…” and I was not aware why a little crying girl wanted to talk to me? My first thought was did I do something wrong? Did I hurt her feelings maybe? I ignored all of those thoughts and said “Yes,sure..” Then her mom told me the story & Ive never seen a child shaking so bad or crying so hard in my life. Her mom just wanted an employee to tell her that what she did was ok, it was ok because she didnt keep going, she didnt do it on purpose, it was a mistake and we all make those. So I told her it was perfectly fine what she did, she was honest and most people would’ve just kept going, but she came back so that made her a good person. She accpeted my words and apologized a thousands times. I kept telling her its ok, and just to stay honest like that for the rest of her life. I gave her a sticker and I hope she felt better. It also felt good for my boss to tell me “you handled that situation so well!” Ah, I can say I had a good night. I’m sure theres alot more going on in this head of mine but as of right now I don’t have anything else to say. Sorry If I bored you with my pointless life story. But in the words of my hero Alexander Michael Deleon, Live. Love. Create. Inspire. <3